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Sticks and Stones

April 17, 2018

Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me…

 

I remember this saying as a child… however, it is amazing how quickly words can hurt and destroy.  I was preparing my notes for the upcoming summit, finding myself already in a vulnerable and raw place when words from a close friend cut me to pieces.  I was surprised how quickly I could find myself stepping back into a dark place. Here I was thinking about my friend’s suicide last October and how I had questioned then if my story mattered only to find myself in the present wondering if sharing that story would matter or make a difference...

 

As I sat in that old familiar place I could feel myself swirling downward… feeling alone… being pulled by the words and the emotions attached to them...those feelings from my childhood…

 

Then during a conversation with someone who was asking about my story my spirit gently reminded me how far I have come and that I DO MATTER.  No matter what tricks my brain may try to play on my heart that I am here for a reason.

 

We are all here for a reason, I MATTER AND YOU MATTER.  We are constantly influenced by the world around us, the challenges in life, or impacted by people close to us that may hurt us... intentionally or not.  And we sometimes lose our way.

 

I have not “arrived” yet.  I am learning that I will always be in recovery.  As I thought about this I was reminded of the TV show “Mom”.  It is a story of women who are recovering alcoholics, who share their stories and journeys through their everyday lives. It is one of the funniest shows I have seen in a long time and it is also very impactful for me.  As I watched it the other night I was moved by the power of the women sitting in a circle and sharing.

 

 

Tonight I want to create a circle, let us join arm in arm. Look around the room, we are all amazing and beautiful, we are loved and we matter.  When the moments come that bring us down I want us to remember this moment, this feeling and hold on to it for all we are worth. There is hope, encouragement and power in this moment and a reminder that we are not alone… we are here for each other… to support, to build up, to love and to be loved.

 

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